


Forgotten

by yrrosoban



Category: NCT (Band), We Go Up - NCT Dream (Music Video)
Genre: Alternative Perspective, Angst, Break Up, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Polyamory, Sad Ending, Sad Huang Ren Jun, Sad Lee Donghyuck | Haechan, Sad Lee Jeno, Sad Na Jaemin, Soft Na Jaemin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 06:07:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28755615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yrrosoban/pseuds/yrrosoban
Summary: Where Jaemin feels he was unwanted & an extra in their relationship.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 12
Kudos: 88





	Forgotten

**Author's Note:**

> I realized i need to stop listening to sad songs, otherwise imma keep writing sad Jaemin because of it 🙃😭

"Oh you're home? We thought you have late night duty tonight?"

Jaemin forced out small smile before forcing out a small lie.

"I wasn't feeling good, so I kinda skipped."

Jaemin said as he poured himself a glass of water to calm down his nerves while the others went back to what they were upto.

A movie night.

Jaemin remained in the kitchen for a few more minutes. Hoping maybe anytime Hyuck would call out for him to bring juice for him when Jaemin would join them. Maybe Renjun would ask him to hurry up so that Jaemin won't be missing more of the movie. Maybe Jeno would sneak into the kitchen to give a tender kiss on his forehead asking if Jaemin was feeling better now.  
  


But what he got was sound of laughter of his boyfriends while they kept watching the movie. Forgetting about Jaemin once again. Jaemin felt a shudder run through his whole body as disappointment washed over him once again. He chugged down the remaining water in hurry before silently slipping into his room.  
  


Jaemin felt cold. It wasn't winter, still Jaemin felt cold & numb. He felt coldness slowly slipping into his heart, freezing it to absolute rock hard.

When did he start feeling like this? When did he started faking his smile? When did he started lying to himself? When did he realized that he wasn't needed?

Jaemin had no exact answer. All he could remember that it wasn't the first time he was forgotten. Was it because Jaemin wasn't smart like Renjun? Was it because he wasn't social like Donghyuck? Was it because he wasn't good at dancing like Jeno? 

Was it because Jaemin wasn't needed by them like Jaemin needed the others? Was he really an extra to their perfect relationship?

A lone tear escaped Jaemin's tired eyes. Then a few more, until a painful sob broke out from his lips.   
  


Jaemin could hear the other three cheering as the movie ended. He could hear Hyuck asking the other two to sleep with him today.

Jaemin waited. Jaemin waited to hear if any of them remembered about him. If anyone would ask about him joining them. 

But none did. Jaemin covered his face with the duvet as he heard the door to his & Jeno's room open softly. 

He heard as Jeno shuffled around the room; mostly gathering his pajamas & pillow before he left closing the door silently once again.

Jeno didn't even kiss him goodnight before leaving.

Renjun didn't ask him if he drank his painkillers.

Donghyuck didn't come for cuddling.

How long had it been since they last did all these? How long had it been since Jaemin felt included in this relationship? 

Jaemin didn't remember.   
  
  
  


**Two weeks later~**

"Na Jaemin?"

Mr. Moon's voice rung out in the classroom. But Jaemin didn't answer.

Donghyuck almost forgot he had the literature class with Jaemin. Scolding himself internally for r forgetting about his boyfriend's class schedule he craned his head to find Jaemin. But Jaemin wasn't there in his seat today. 

Jaemin's seat was empty.  
  


_Was he sick?_

Donghyuck's eyebrows furrowed, trying to remember if Jaemin had mentioned about his sickness or anything about university last night. Right then, suddenly Donghyuck realized he hadn't talked with the younger boy last night. Not only last night, Donghyuck didn't even remember talking with Jaemin in last one week.

Guilt washed over Donghyuck as he averted his eyes from the empty seat. What was he doing all these time? Donghyuck couldn't remember of a time he spent with the younger recently.

Was it just him? Had he been ignoring the youngest unknowingly all these time? 

Donghyuck felt guiltiness eating him alive as soon as Jaemin's smiling face flashed in his mind. 

_The hell he had been doing all these time?!_   
  


**Loves ❤️**

**Donghyuck** :  
Hey anyone saw Nana today? He didn't come to lit :(

**Jen** :  
Nana? No? I haven't seen him in the kitchen this morning, so I thought he left already?

**Injunnie** :  
Me neither. I was already late so rushed out without greeting any of you in the morning.

Jen didn't you go to your room? He wasn't there?

**Jen** :  
No, I had spares in your room so I just changed & picked up my bag from hyuck's table.

Did you call him?  
  


Donghyuck felt something unsettling inside his chest as he read the conversation. He hurriedly excused himself from the class & called Jaemin's number. But it straightly went to his voice mail.

He tried again.  
Again.  
Again.

Only the mechanical voice of voice mail greeted him.

_Where was Jaemin?_   
  
  
  


Jeno felt his grip on his phone tightened as his call went straight to voice mail for the fifth time. He had already been stressed due to the final routine, he still couldn't choose a song for that. & Now, one of his boyfriends was not picking up, most probably sick & alone at home.

He cursed himself for not noticing that Jaemin wasn't with him today.

Then it dawned on Jeno. He hadn't seen the said boy in last few days. Last time he saw Jaemin was a week ago, during lunch.

Jeno was already late for his class when Jaemin sat beside him on the cafeteria. Jeno remembered he excused himself before Jaemin could even start eating. He left Jaemin to eat alone.

Something he never used to do. Jeno never left Jaemin eat alone knowing the boy had a tendency to drink his death drink & sugary treats only for lunch. When did Jeno last accompanied Jaemin to his meal?

Jeno couldn't remember. He couldn't remember when he last had a proper talk or a quality time with the younger. All he could remember about him, Hyuck & Injun recently.

There wasn't any Jaemin between them.

  
There was no memory of him looking for Jaemin.  
  
  
  


Renjun didn't waste anytime after his call went to voice mail once. He took a u-turn from his way to next class, walking toward the entrance of his University. He know Donghyuck & Jeno would be calling the youngest, so he decided to check their home. 

Renjun wasn't very fond of the idea of Jaemin being sick, let alone being alone & sick together. He texted Jeno & Donghyuck that he was leaving for home as soon as he got in a taxi. Instantly got a reply that Jeno & Donghyuck were coming too. A small smile formed on his lips. Those two, no matter how much they acted tough, were the softest after Jaemin.

Jaemin.

The name made Renjun's heart ache. Unlike his other two boyfriends, Renjun actually realized much earlier that what was going on. He had noticed how Jaemin wasn't being included in their relationship. Renjun realised that Jaemin was missing. Because of them.  
  


Renjun noticed it around two weeks ago. Just after the movie night. 

Renjun remembered how bloodshot Jaemin's eyes were when Renjun greeted him in the morning. Renjun saw clearly how Jaemin tried to hid his pale face, red eyes from Renjun. Renjun found it scratching his heart when Jaemin flinched at his touch, & left without even looking at him.

Renjun thought a lot about it. He tried to find out the reason why Jaemin would cry, why his soft hearted lover would deny his simple touch. But found none.

But then slowly it came to him piece by piece, they- Renjun, Jeno & Donghyuck were the reason Jaemin's behavior, his cries. Renjun spent hours scrolling his social media. All were full of him, Jeno & Donghyuck recently. It looked like it was only them in the relationship, there wasn't even a shadow of Jaemin between the three of them.

For past two weeks Renjun silently saw how Jaemin's smile was wiped out from his face, how he stopped coming for Renjun for his homeworks, how Jaemin didn't ask for cuddles from Hyuck, how he didn't wait for Jeno to rant about his dance classes. As if Renjun, Donghyuck & Jeno hadn't done enough to push Jaemin away, Jaemin slowly pulled away his remaining bit of presence from their life.

& Renjun just watched. Too scared to voice out. Too scared that if he said something about it, everything would become more true. So he stayed silent, trying to fix everything on his own. He tried to involve Jaemin more, he wanted Jaemin to feel more included, he wanted Jaemin to feel that they did love him.

But everytime he took a step forward, Jaemin took two steps backward. Going further away from them. & Renjun realized it was a mistake that he couldn't fix alone, he needed Jeno & Donghyuck. They needed to realise what they were doing to them, to Jaemin.  
  
  


As soon as Renjun got inside their apartment it screamed empty. Renjun felt his heart beating fast. He felt like something bad was going to happen. He shook his head to get rid of unwanted thoughts when Jeno & Donghyuck came inside rushing.

"Injun? Did you find him?"

It was Donghyuck who spoke first as Jeno struggled with his sneakers.

"I-I just got here..." Renjun replied as he waited for the other two. He needed strength. Renjun knew what was waiting for them but he couldn't do it alone.

"Let's go- that idiot should've at least texted us!" Jeno spoke up worried & frustrated as he walked toward Jaemin's room, while the other two followed Jeno to Jaemin's room.

But what greeted them was an empty room. The whole room looked like no one had been here. The beds were made properly & the desk.....

Renjun felt his breath hitch when his eyes fell on the empty desk, which was once filled with cute stickers, Jaemin's books & a photo frame with a pic of three of them hugging the younger.

The desk was now cleaned, empty; as if no one used it before.

"What the-" Donghyuck let out a wavering breath as his eyes locked with two luggage on the other side of Jaemin's bed.

They were Jaemin's.

Renjun's legs were going numb. He held on to the door with all his might to keep himself steady. Jeno briskly walked inside to check the luggages while Donghyuck held Renjun close to him.

Both boy watched as Jeno opened the luggages while muttering incoherent stuffs.

"Is he planning to visit his hometown?" Jeno asked as he noticed Jaemin's cloths & books all were inside the luggages.

"Why does he need to take this much of cloths just for a visit?" Jeno asked again. Donghyuck knew no one packed his all stuffs if they just plan to visit their hometown. But he didn't know what to say to Jeno. To Renjun, who was already crying.

Jaemin was leaving them.   
  
  


Jaemin talked to the dorm manager about his new room. He didn't get many choices. So he chose one that he thought was the best among all. Rooming with a senior music major. With one last thank you, Jaemin decided to go back to his apartment to pick up his luggages that he packed last night. He needed to leave as soon as possible. He didn't know if he could if he sees any of them.

But of course the world was always against him.  
  


He got shock of his life when he was pulled in a tight embrace as soon as he walked inside his shared apartment.

Huang Renjun.

Crushing Jaemin in a tight embrace, while crying nonstop. Jaemin's eyes widened when he saw his other two boyfriends standing right behind Renjun.

Donghyuck looked like he was about to cry, while Jeno looked relieved...and angry?

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! Please don't leave!" Renjun's voice was breaking.

Jaemin felt his heart ache as his eyes started to sting with unshed tears.

_Why shouldn't he leave? What was it that he had here?_

_Nothing._

So, placing a heavy stone over his heart Jaemin pushed off Renjun slowly, making Renjun freeze on his spot.

Na Jaemin, his Jaemin was refusing hugs, from him.

"Please- C-can y-you-"  
  


"Are you visiting home?" Jeno's voice stopped Jaemin, while Donghyuck hugged Renjun from back, teary eyes glued at Jaemin's weak state.

Jaemin stared at Jeno as the other walked toward him with red, confused eyes asking him what was happening. Jaemin broke the eye contact as he shook his head in denial.  
  


As soon as Jaemin denied Jeno released a breath he was holding before softly holding Jaemin's wrist.

"Let's go unpack then. I'll help you....come on"

Donghyuck & Renjun waited with batted breath as Jeno turned back ready to walk inside with Jaemin. But Jaemin... He stood his ground. Not even moving an inch.

"Nana? Come on-" Jeno's voice was breaking, still refusing to accept all those negative thoughts lingering inside his head.

"I'm sorry-"

"Nana why are you saying sorry? Just come with m-"

"I'm sorry- please-" Jaemin was crying now, not knowing what else to say. Jaemin felt two strong hands cupping his face, wiping away his tears. 

"Ssshh...babe... Don't cry, okay? Everything's okay. Look Renjun, Hyuck...me... We all are okay. We all "Love you". A lot. For real" Jeno tried to make Jaemin understand, but Jaemin could only cry more. 

Because he knew, nothing was okay. None of them were okay. Jeno's wavering voice gave it out all.

"Nana-"

"Jaem... I promise everything will be okay now" it was Donghyuck now, finally approaching Jaemin with his bleeding heart.

"We can fix everything. Me..." Donghyuck looked back at his other boyfriends, "Jeno, Renjun... We promise... We promise we'll fix everything. We promise We love you. We love you more than anything." Donghyuck pleaded.

"So..please... please stay... Don't leave us,...."  
  
  


Jaemin didn't know who was it, but he was pulled in a tight embrace, then felt another pair of arm wrapping around him, & then another.

Jaemin didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to turn back from the boys he loved with his all. But would he be able to forget how he had became an extra or how he was ignored. Would he be able to forget all those sleepless nights, all those tears that choked him, making him feel unwanted?

Maybe oneday. But for now? He couldn't.

"I'm sorry.... Please..,please let me go"

_At least for now._


End file.
